The first years of my marriage were anything but easy. Yes, many times provided cherished memories that still make me smile, but we also struggled through tough terrain. We confronted fears that threatened to cause a civil war, healed from past wounds that followed us into our union, and drudged through days I simply questioned if we would make it. Knowing that God had more and that we could believe in him, we asked for wise counsel, engaged in community, and stood on the fact that before God we had vowed to love one another. This stance is what carried us through the days we were sure we had made a mistake. It’s been almost 20 years since that time, and every part of me is grateful we didn’t give up. Because Ephesians 5:30-31 tells us,“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” 

The profound mystery Paul mentions in Ephesians, quoted from Genesis 2:24, and proclaimed by Jesus in Matthew 19:5, all allude to this design God has for marriage, and how it reflects Christ’s love for the church. 

Remembering this truth helps keep in perspective why I love the church: because Jesus loves the church. It strengthens me on the days when I’m tempted to be ashamed by the church and its dealings, the times when God unveils the secrets a professing Christian leader tried to hide, or the moments when it is clear the gospel has been denied so an agenda can be pushed. To be clear, I’m not discussing the church I am a member of, that is a place of love and grace, or even the global church. But as we move into the next year, it is the American church that I see so many flaws and failings in, and I’m asking God to increase my love for—because during these past few years, it was anything but easy.

Some are mystified as to why I would continue to love the church with all her brokenness and sin—walking and working for the glory of God with sinners who are yet still saints. Sometimes I’m not even sure why I have such a deeply-held love when the American church is rife with the worship of other things & people. Why stay when we meet through screens because a deadly virus might lurk in the lungfuls of our corporate worship? Why remain when members show their allegiance to political stances before their allegiance to God most high? Why endure when hypocrisy is continually revealed?

This is a profound mystery. It only makes sense in light of 1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us.”

Jemar Tisby published words that resonated with my soul and caused me to hope more deeply. He said, “It’s almost paradoxical that losing faith in people can lead to a greater dedication to people and the good of society. But that’s what love looks like. That’s what it looks like to follow Jesus.” Because though the loudest may declare their positions with villainy, the number of people who serve until their hands are raw, risk their lives to share the news they know rescues souls, and faithfully look up to Jesus and ask, “What would you have me do today?” are there to bring light. They are just quieter.

In a world worshiping at the altars of popular opinion, social media, and political parties, I want to call out into the darkness, “Come meet the man who saved the world from the sin that so easily entangles our souls with lusts that matter not! Taste and see the hope of Christ who can change the granite heart to a compassionate soul.”

There are few things I’ve seen that match the beauty of people dedicated to Jesus. Those who seek to unify a broken world with a healing God, serve the underprivileged and forgotten, and forsake a cultural Christianity for being born again into Christ, are the church. The church is not a building, denomination, or political alliance; we are Jesus’s people, and we must act like it. When it’s hard to believe the church will make it, I’ll remember it’s Jesus I believe in.
So if you’re looking for me, I’ll be over here in my little corner of the world, “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 Jesus took that cross for the joy before him, so if there are days that loving the church feels like a sacrifice—I’ll do it for the joy of it.

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Chara Donahue enjoys freelance writing, biblical counseling, and teaching. She is an educator, holds an MSEd, and is passionate about seeing people set free through God’s truths. She is the host of the podcast The Bible Never Said That and a regular contributor at iBelieve. Her words have appeared at Christianity Today, Crosswalk, (in)courage, and The Huffington Post. She longs to be a voice that says, “Hey we are in this together, and there is room for us all.”