Slow Down, Love God, and Love Others

Author: Karly Grant

Slow down, love God, and love others. These have been the convictions on my heart lately. When the word conviction comes up, I automatically think about it with negative connotations, and I imagine you do too. That doesn’t always have to be the case. While conviction comes with changes that need to be made, it doesn’t have to mean living a life of guilt, it simply means allowing God to work in and through you to make you more like Himself.

I am always in need of conviction. My flawed self needs to constantly be welcoming the Holy Spirit to move in me and change me. How have I been noticing these things lately? While God’s Word is essential, He has also used the words of others lately to stir up these convictions. Through both a quote and a book, I have been encouraged to slow down, love God, and love others.

Karly Grant Conviction

Slow Down and Love God

I recently saw a quote on Pinterest that seemed simple enough, but hit me so hard that I immediately posted it on social media, set it as my lock screen on my phone, and printed it out to post right by my front door so I would see it often. I couldn’t find the source of the quote, but it reads: “Don’t be in a hurry to leave God’s presence. Slow down. Let Him empower you. He has so much to show you, to teach you & tell you.”

More often than I’d like to admit, I find myself in such a hurry or distracted by things in life that aren’t as important. If I don’t spend time with God, seeking His truth, listening, and praying, then I am quick to focus on things that aren’t important (i.e. Netflix, comfort, social media). If I truly allow God to speak to me through His work and through prayer, and start my day like that, I can better see Him as work as I leave my apartment and encounter the world. My day is off to a better start when I start by allowing time to speak to my God and study His Words. When my day starts like this, I am more likely to trust Him and go to Him in prayer throughout my day.

Love Others

“Love God and love others” is a mantra that I heard repeatedly as I grew up in the church. At times it seems rote and redundant. Other times, such as this last month, the simple message hits me hard. As a part of a summer book club, I read the book No One Ever Asked by Katie Ganshert. Simply put, this book rocked my world. Coming highly recommended, I knew I’d like this novel, but I didn’t realize how deeply impacting a novel would be on my views of the world or how deeply it would stir up a desire to love God’s people.

Conviction Karly Grant

Several topics are presented in this book that are relevant to the United States today (i.e. racism, classism, adoption). I was convicted of areas that I thought I was doing pretty well in, but God used Katie’s words to show me how I could love others around me better. You never know the stories of the people around you. We are quick to judge, even when we think we aren’t. Our job as followers of Christ is to love those around us, no matter what their beliefs, lifestyles, or abilities.

Allowing God to move in and through me right where I am is how I grow and find the refreshment my soul craves. There is a reason that He had me in places physically, mentally, and spiritually different than what I anticipated. He drew me deeper and used words of others to convict. I long to grow closer to Him by slowing down, loving God, and loving others well, and I’ve turned toward just that.


Karly Grant headshotKarly is a single 30-something who is striving to follow Jesus and trust Him in every situation. She can be found with a cup of tea or a good beer in hand while cozied up with a good book or enjoying a laugh with family or friends. God has her on a wild journey. In the last year she has quit her job of 15+ years and gone back to school full-time to pursue a career/ministry in the realm of adoption. She is both terrified and excited to see how God moves and what opportunities He provides in this adventure.
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The Contagious Conviction of Love

Like a moth enraptured by the light, I stood just on the edges of a circle of people hovering to listen. It seemed as though the sounds and words were woven together into a third dimension, as the musicians allowed their joy and assurance to bubble out through their music-making. Their skills good, but their hearts even brighter, they summoned me and others forth into the music. Into worship.

The first time this happened to me I was a music major in college. The musicians had learned music in a cobbled fashion, picking things up as they went from whomever they could. I had been given the streamlined education destined to shoot the straight and narrow into performance. But their music was wholly ragged, entirely captivating, and contagiously convicting. The difference was that they were not focused on playing beautiful music, rather, they focused on worshipping and beauty naturally flowed through it.

Kimberley Mulder Conviction

I looked for opportunities to be with them, to listen and learn because their confidence was so attractive. They were the first people I met who were utterly convinced that Jesus loved them, and loved us. I am sure they could not have kept silent even if they wanted to.

We most often speak of being convicted of sin, but these friends of mine lived convicted of love. Like sparks among dry wood, I and others caught the flame, becoming certain of love ourselves. I left my path to performance, in more ways than one, to live out these certainties.

Conviction Kimberley Mulder

Twenty years later, I picked up my tattered musical training and offered to use it to worship in Asia. I joined two leaders whose contagious conviction is that all are welcome, most especially, the children. I have never encountered two people more convinced of the powerful love of God poured out into welcoming children. They heartily embrace the belief that children are full-grown citizens in the kingdom of God, able despite their lack of experience, and powerful in their powerlessness. We, adults, are to welcome, bless, give opportunity, and encourage them.

Like my college friends, they invite and welcome all regardless of skill. Skill level does not dictate participation. Response to the welcome and willingness governs it. As an outcome of their contagion, our worship team traveling halfway around the world was made up of a nineteen-year-old, one fifteen-year-old, two fourteen-year-olds, a twelve-year-old, and then the leaders and my husband and I!

The young ones’ emerging skills, my rusty ones, and all those present were bound together into the warm flame of worship, and a beauty like none other rolled through it. Those listening felt it, saw it, and they gathered around the light of God and were re-ignited in love which they now carry with them into the countries of Asia.

 


2016-11-02 13.10.06Kimberley Mulder is a contemplative at heart who deeply enjoys the company of Jesus in the day-to-day of caring for her family of 5 (plus a dog and a cat), teaching English to immigrants, growing her garden, and writing. Currently, her walk with Jesus is taking her more deeply into writing as she leads a spiritual formation group at her church, and shares on her blog Living a Mary Life in a Martha World.  She treasures the truth that God’s Word does not go back to him without accomplishing the purpose for which he sent it, and that that Word is embodied in our lives. (Isaiah 55:11)

A Place to Land: An Interview with Kate Motaung

A Place to Land releases on April 2nd, and if you love a good memoir this one is for you. Kate Motaung tells her story in an inviting way that not only lets readers connect with her, but also shows them truths about their own lives. She walks readers through the gut-wrenching process of losing her mother and the life-long quest of finding a feeling of home. Also included: a good love story, cultural commentary, motherhood moments, and sisterhood bonds. She brings glory to Jesus and his constant presence in our emotional ups and downs, as she guides us through cross-cultural living and grief.

I have the honor of presenting you with a behind the scenes look with this interview.

Q: What can readers expect from your book?

A Place to Land is a memoir, so readers can expect real-life storytelling. They can expect to travel with me from my childhood in Michigan to my young adulthood in Cape Town, South Africa. I should also warn potential readers that the book does walk through some difficult topics like divorce, my mom’s cancer diagnoses, and her eventual death.

It is a heavy book, by my prayer is that readers will find it therapeutic to reflect on their own difficult situations (even if it involves tears in the process), and that eventually they will land in a place of hope.

Q: Who do you think will relate most to your story?

Well, hopefully A Place to Land will resonate with people with a wide variety of experiences and backgrounds, but I think especially for those who are familiar with:
• Divorced parents
• Moving frequently
• Feeling unsettled
• Longing for more
• Dealing with cancer
• Grief
• Loss of a mother (or loved one)
• Living cross-culturally

Q: What do you hope readers gain from reading A Place to Land?

My hope and prayer for my readers is threefold:

1) I pray that A Place to Land would increase their longing to spend eternity with God. I don’t presume to have any idea as to what heaven will be like, except for what Scripture has revealed to us. But I do think that the vast majority of us have a diluted, lukewarm view of eternity. We lack a depth of eager anticipation, and I believe that negatively affects our choices and attitudes in this life.

a place to land image 1I’ve learned through writing this book that intentionally keeping an eternal perspective at the forefront of my mind does wonders for my countenance, attitude, and actions. It has changed me in ways I never expected.

2) I pray that they would find hope in Christ in the midst of their suffering and grief. He is the only one who can relieve our pain. I pray that the readers of this book will find their anchor in Him amidst the turbulent trials of this life, holding fast to the truth that “our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

3) I pray that they would be reminded that this world is not our home. For some, that is a comfort, knowing that one day those who trust in Christ will lay aside all their pain and suffering in exchange for a sin-free existence forever in the presence of their Redeemer. For others, this realization could be a bit disconcerting. Many of us make a great effort to find comfort, fulfillment, and satisfaction here in this life, and we don’t like the idea of giving it up.

Before writing this book, I struggled with that a lot. I would get incredibly sentimental over certain material things. Now, the Lord is teaching me that those are all part of what Jesus calls “treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19).

Instead, He calls us to “lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:20-21). Writing A Place to Land challenged me to consider where I’m storing my treasure.

Q: How did writing your memoir change or challenge you spiritually?

Writing memoir is an incredibly sanctifying process. For one thing, there are so many steps involved in writing a book of any kind—planning, writing, editing, revising, waiting,trusting, sending, giving, laboring some more, promoting . . . the list goes on. I expected that writing and publishing a book would be a monumental task, but going into it I had no idea how much it would stretch and grow me spiritually.

With memoir in particular, because the story itself is your own, many emotions get tangled up in the process. I struggled to know which stories to include and which to leave out—what would strengthen the main theme? What would resonate with readers? Which stories will fall flat? Which sections do I want to share out of my own pride, and not because they will benefit my reader or contribute to the goals for the book? I had a hard time trying to discern how much of my story to tell without telling too much or too little. Doubt came into play, and I questioned whether anyone at all would benefit from the finished product.

Then during the editing process, it’s very easy to take the editor’s suggestions personally. Thankfully, I was blessed to work with some incredibly gracious editors. I never felt as if they were being condescending, disrespectful, patronizing, or flippant. They carried my story with grace and support, while still offering helpful suggestions to make the book stronger overall. I never felt as if my voice was removed, altered, or stepped on during the editing process, but I can imagine that for other authors, it might be really hard to hear a professional in the field tell you that certain aspects of your story aren’t worth being published. During this stage it’s important to swallow your pride and humbly accept advice from others.

When it came to making revisions, there were days when I felt that I had nothing more to give. If I had already put my best foot forward in the first few drafts, what else did I have to offer? I would stare at my screen and not know what to do. This phase really forced me to increase my dependence on the Lord. I had to trust that whatever words He wanted in the book, He would keep there, and whichever words He didn’t want would be cut out.

As I neared publication and my first readers got access to the book, the dark clouds of fear threatened on the horizon. What would people think? Would they think the book was a waste of their time? Would they think the quality was poor? Would they think my story was boring or too sad or self-consumed? At this point, the Lord continually reminded me that it doesn’t matter what others think. Though this is a lesson I need to learn on a daily basis, I keep going back to the truth that only God’s opinion matters. If I’ve offered my best to Him and for His glory and not my own, nothing else matters. So I guess looking back, the whole publication process is one big exercise in faith— trusting God to open doors and lead the way as He sees fit, and for His purposes.

Q: Which verses from the Bible do you think would be helpful or encouraging to
those dealing with difficult circumstances?

One passage that has comforted me over and over again comes from 2 Corinthians: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Q: What was the most difficult part about writing your memoir?

Writing about my mom’s death. My eyes tear up just thinking about it. I must have cried about 72 times through all the revisions and edits and more revisions. But they were therapeutic tears, and I’m so glad I’ve documented the experience, since the memory does fade. You don’t think you’ll ever forget something like that, but the details do fade.

Another challenging aspect was simply trying to decide which stories to include or not include. Having amazing editors was a huge help in this process, but obviously they can only work with what I give them. There were many times when I would write scenes that my editors asked for, and I would be thinking to myself, “Who the heck cares about this? This is so boring!” But in the end, as a Christian writer I have to trust that the Lord will keep whatever words He wants to have in the book and cut whichever ones He doesn’t.

Q: Where can readers find you online or hear more about your story?

I’d love to connect on my blog, Heading Home, or on Facebook, Twitter, or
Instagram.Interested readers can read the first chapter of A Place to Land here or on Amazon.


a place to land 3Kate Motaung is the author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging (2018), A Start-Up Guide for Online Christian Writers, and Letters to Grief. She is the host of Five Minute Friday, an online community that encourages and equips Christian writers, and owner of Refine Services, a company that offers writing, editing, and digital marketing services. Kate blogs at Heading Home and can be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Free Printable: Ephesians 4:31-32

Throughout February we have been exploring the dangers of bitterness, and Sarah Dohman has created this beautiful scriptural reminder to help you combat it. Put it on your wall, your mirror, or even in you car so that you can kill the seeds of bitterness that try to tangle your heart.

 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Chri

Get your free Printable Here!

What it Means to Thrive

After a year of what has felt like surviving one crisis or complication after another, I’ve found myself asking what it would look like to Thrive in 2018. I have said to myself, “If I can just get past this [insert bad thing here], then I can thrive.”

My favorite definition of thrive is: “to flourish.” I want 2018 to be a year of flourishing. But it can’t be dependent on things going perfectly, or even going very well. Surviving makes me feel like I’m going from one panic attack to the next. A constant waiting for the next stressful event to send me spiraling. I know there has to be more, so I’ve been examining how I can thrive in 2018.

Thriving through Deep Roots

A verse that keeps popping into my head is Psalm 1:2-3

“But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither– whatever they do prospers.”

Thrive Sarah ClewsAlthough I read the Bible all the way through many years ago, it’s been a long time. It’s so important to me to be constantly refamiliarizing myself with the life giving words of Scripture, reminding myself again and again of their truth. In our world I find myself constantly confronted with things that don’t align with the Bible, and I want to be steeped in Scripture so I can stand firm. Also, getting away from a survival mentality means reminding myself that God’s promises can be depended on.

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.” Hebrews 6:18 (NLT)

Thriving by Letting Go

It’s easy for me to start  thinking I have control over my circumstances. I make an exhaustive plan that honestly doesn’t consider what God might have for me. That type A personality in me hates being flexible and hates surprises…whether it’s an unexpected phone call with bad news, or the check engine light in the car coming on. C.S. Lewis’s words inspire me to embrace it all:

Sarah Clews Thrive“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life — the life God is sending one day by day.”

I believe I can thrive if I stop resisting life’s “interruptions” and accept these as part of the life God is giving me. Somehow, the bad news, the car problems, the broken dryer, it’s all part of God’s plan for my life even when it seems pointless.

Proverbs 16:9 says,

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”

I attended a celebration of life service recently for a friend, a lovely woman who passed away at the age of 70. As many stories were shared at her service, the overarching theme was one of a life well lived, a woman who thrived. But not because her circumstances were perfect. She actually experienced severe chronic pain for the last 10 years of her life.

She was able to flourish in a way that blessed all those around her by following Jesus, accepting what life had thrown at her, and choosing to see the best parts of life as a love message from Him and a foreshadowing of the joy she now experiences in heaven.

That’s the kind of thriving I’m hoping for in 2018.


sarah-c-squareSarah Clews loves being the wife of Carson and mother to three little girls. She received her degree in English from Corban University and still loves the craft of writing. She also helps her husband run a martial arts school. In her free time, Sarah enjoys talking with grown ups (!), finding new authors, doing online research, and reading her favorite childhood stories to her girls.

Anchored Printable: Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

We here at Anchored Voices hope that this season is filled with joy, even if you are facing deep sorrow, because we know both can exist within one person simultaneously. Our circumstances may be hard, but our souls can be at rest in the truth that our SAVIOR was born!

We hope this printable, created by Sarah Dohman of Isaiah 9:6  will encourage you this holiday season.

 

Click Here to Grab Your Printable
Isaiah 9_6

Book Review: If Only You Knew by Jamie Ivey

I first learned of the Ivey family through a video showing their family going through the adoption process during the disastrous earthquake in Haiti. The longing for their children to be home, while at the same time praying for God to comfort and be near resonated with my heart.  It was one of the key pieces God used to draw us into adoption, and why my family is comprised of a feisty 16 year old, two almost-30 year old parents, and 12 bonus foster children who have come in and out over the last 4 years. (Yes, we will be 31 when she graduates!) Their telling of their adoption process didn’t skip past the hard in between spots, or even the rough patches of parenting. Their vulnerability and trust in God struck something deep within and catalyzed us.

image2Fast forward a few years, and I discovered the “Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey” podcast.  It is by far my most listened to, and recommended podcast in my life for the very same reason– vulnerability.  Deep trust in God that touches all of life is constantly on display, and the interviews of actual people who God has used in varied ways remind me of the depth of people opposed to the two-dimensional instagram version.

I was ecstatic to get to be a part of the “launch team” for Jamie’s first book, If You Only Knew: My Unlikely, Unavoidable Story of Becoming Free. I received a free ebook copy (after preordering) in exchange for telling YOU about it.  For those of you who know me, I would have anyway!

I have to tell you.  She did it again. I love this book and have told someone about it almost every day since I started it.

I’ve been a “church girl” for a long time, and am familiar with how things go.  Often instead of walking in freedom, we sanitize our story, hiding the messy details and covering up the very places God is most at work in our lives. Our sin and struggle become things to manage.  There are topics we don’t touch, or if we do, the story is about someone else or a long time ago.

Jamie challenges this tendency,

“When seen through the eyes of the gospel, our stories are not obstacles to our freedom; they are actually the key to unlocking it.”

This book is Jamie’s story of how God worked in her life.  It feels a lot like reviewing the tapes of her experiences and speaking the gospel over the girl she was. Telling the truth she wished she knew at that point.  

Let me tell you, we all need that.  Whether it is the girl you were, or the woman you are today, the Gospel of Jesus intersects every bit of your life.  Sin. Struggle. Failure. Success.

He knows it all, and loves us enough to die for us.  Especially the parts we don’t talk about. Somehow the very things we want to hide are what God can use in the lives of others who may not know His love.

“When we hide the mess we’ve been through, we also hide the redemption that God has lavishly poured on us.  We can’t proclaim His grace until we expose our mess.”

image1 (1)I’m convinced that the vulnerability that Jamie shares with us in this book is what women in the church are longing for. Even more, it is for women who want to love Jesus, but think their past (or current) life somehow disqualifies them from being a Christian.  I cannot think of another book that so pointedly proclaims that sin is sin but Jesus is greater, and He is our only source of freedom.  

You can find all the info for her book at http://ifyouonlyknewbook.net/ and until November 6th they have some awesome perks for pre-ordering including 20% off from Waterloo Style (aka Jamie’s awesome earring source)  and 5 entries to win a 2-day getaway for two to Green Acres with travel included, a dinner with the Iveys, and a basket of Jamie’s favorite things.

If you win, I’d be happy to be your second person!


holly-square

Holly is a wife of 6 years as well as mom to a teenager (by adoption) and a child she’ll meet in heaven. She’s been foster mom to 10 kids in the last 3 years, and works part time as a church bookkeeper. She loves interacting with people who are hungry for change and ready to see God at work in their lives. She studied Intercultural Studies at Corban University and loves to build bridges between cultures and people. She writes to tell the stories of what God has done, especially through her experiences of infertility, foster care, and adoption. These days you’ll find her catching up on housework while listening to a podcast, trying not to have dinner be a Pinterest fail,  and sipping coffee while teaching her daughter to drive.

 

One Another Friendship

Last week a beautiful thing happeneda friend dropped by. No planning, no consulting our schedules to pencil in a playdate in six weeks pending the weather, possible illness, and the unforeseen mishaps that are bound to happen. Just a knock at the door.

As we sat amidst my laundry, watching little ones play we chatted about what was going on in life. As we took breaks to feed children or put a grumpy baby to bed, we coached the littles on friendship 101. Don’t pinch. Give her space. You can play with it when she is done. Gentle. Be slow to anger,she didn’t realize that hurt you. Yelling isn’t how we talk to our friends.

Friendship Holly HawesIt is good advice for us all.

Later, they will learn to keep confidences, cheer one another on, and be includers. To care for one another’s broken hearts, and forgive one another.

One another is really what friendship is about. As Christians, friendship is not simply based on common interests or places in life, but on the fact that as followers of Jesus we are family. Beyond stage of life, race, or ambition we are called to relationship. Because of this the one another includes the other.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with {Sisterly} affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

While the Bible doesn’t have a top 10 list of friendship do’s and don’ts, when I think about the way a family should treat one another, I continue to gain more insight into how redeemed sister-friendship works.

Come as you are

…But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

There is no need to clean yourself up to join the family, and we shouldn’t permit the facade of perfection to remain within our friendships. Family gets to see all sides of you. Morning bedhead. Messy room. Struggling and succeeding. There is vulnerability in sharing your real life, and this is exactly where we begin to connect deeply with one another as sister-friends. Past the Pinterest projects and small talk is the part of your soul made for real inter-dependence.

Confess

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

I vividly remember the first time I sat across from a friend and confessed an area I’d been struggling that I hoped to never say outloud. Years later, I don’t remember even what I actually confessed, but I remember the deep relief and healing I felt as she said outloud that God had already forgiven me and she forgave me as well. We need people in our lives who can tell us the truth, hear us out, and pray for us.

Holly Hawes FriendshipMartin Luther famously said, ‘All a Christian’s life is of repentance.” Indeed, we are people who not only say we are in need of the change God can bring in our life on day one of following Jesus, but  also on every day after that. In our relationships this means  we are to be sisters and friends who are real about the places we are struggling and are pointing one another back to the good news of the gospel.

Forgiveness

…bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13

Friendship has a certain quality of commitment that is never stated in vows, signed on a legal document, or even agreed upon in a conversation. Instead, day in and day out we begin to do the things that make relationships last and slowly a foundation is built. Part of that foundation must be forgiveness or the relationship will not stand the test of time. People do fail, and no one but Jesus is perfect. We are able to forgive one another because we know that God has forgiven us.

I’m With You

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

As sisters we hold front row seats to each other’s life. We must cheer each other on both in times of joy and pain. I find that most people are great at half of this verse. We have the encouraging cheerleader party thrower types who celebrate well when a friend gets a promotion, begins a romantic relationship, has a baby, or is just excited for the new hobby she started. On the other hand there are the mercy-filled empathetic type who sit and weep with those struggling with illness, infertility, loss of a job, disappointment, or marriage trouble. We default to one side, but miss out if we don’t learn to give both rejoicing and weeping.

You Have a Gift

For as in one body we have many members,and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them Romans 12 :4-6a

For some reason, it is difficult to see in ourselves the ways that God has made us and gifted us. We need our sisters to point out how they see God at work through us, and how our gifts are needed. So next time you see a friend excelling at something, let them know. Because we are not alone in this journey. We were designed to encourage, help, and serve those whom God loves, those He created in His image.


Holly is a wife of 6 years as well as mom to a teenager (by adoption) and a child she’ll meet in heaven. She’s been foster mom to 10 kids in the last 3 years, and works part time holly-squareas a church bookkeeper. She loves interacting with people who are hungry for change and ready to see God at work in their lives. She studied Intercultural Studies at Corban University and loves to build bridges between cultures and people. She writes to tell the stories of what God has done, especially through her experiences of infertility, foster care, and adoption. These days you’ll find her catching up on housework while listening to a podcast, trying not to have dinner be a Pinterest fail,  and sipping coffee while teaching her daughter to drive.