I blew my breath out slowly and tipped my face toward the sky.
“I’m tired.” I whispered quietly, “and there are too many moving parts in life.”
God didn’t respond in that exact moment. He remained quiet. Not the absent kind of quiet, but the waiting kind.
I am tired. I’ve been in transition for months now. We are waiting while we try to sell our home so that we can move to a more expensive area where it’s harder to live but where my husband has a job that he loves. For now, my husband works out of town and is home only a few nights a week. A choice we made together and don’t regret. Still, the time its taking to relocate our family has become a drain on us both. The kids feel it too. Their emotions are high as they process leaving friendships behind and changing homes…again.
One of the hardest lessons I keep having to relearn is perseverance in the waiting.
Waiting feels a lot like sticking my finger in a vise and then slowly tightening it. The longer I have to wait the more painful it becomes.
I don’t like waiting. I like plans and answers and knowing.
Waiting is hard, unknown, and stressful.
But, waiting refines us. Waiting makes us trust God with the details and address the desire to control and manipulate our own futures. Waiting reminds us that while we don’t hold the world in our hands, we know someone who does. And…
He loves us.
Waiting well for God to bring answers requires not only perseverance but humility. In that waiting our ability to persevere also expands. And perseverance is required in order to keep growing in faith and trust when life is hard.
I’m terrible at waiting most of the time. I pout, pace, and perseverate.
So, how can we do a better job at waiting well?
By leaning into Christ Jesus, our source of hope, and daily offering up our fears and questions for God to hold. Equally important, is the one thing I always have to remind myself of:
Once you give your stresses to God, don’t pick them up again, even if the wait for answers is long. Persevere in trusting the One who holds the world. Let him carry the burdens of life.
So, even though I don’t like waiting I have come to understand that perseverance is a skill worth waiting for.
Proverbs 3:5,6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways a knowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”
Jacqi Kambish is a Christian mom to three spirited children striving to balance the daily demands of parenting a child with special needs and meeting the needs of typically developing siblings while working full time and writing. She earned a Bachelor’s of Science in Bible Theology and Youth Ministry from William Jessup University. Jacqi lives with her family in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado and enjoys reflectively writing about parenting, faith, and the joys and trials of life while leaving her readers with hope and encouragement. Her blog The Presumptuous Ladybug can be found atand you can connect with her on Facebook.