I was five years old. I had already been asleep for a while, but the deep night was about to be disturbed. I woke with a start to thunder crashing over our house and lightning illuminated my room. When I realized my sister had left her bunk and I was alone, I grabbed my blanket and ran through the house to my parents’ room.
A lamp was on and they were awake talking while my mom was rubbing my sister’s back. I threw my blanket on the floor and buried my face in it, praying out loud “God, please make this thunderstorm stop!” Not sure what to do next I kept my head in my blanket and waited. It was silent. I jumped up from my crouched position and exclaimed to my family, “I prayed that God would make the thunderstorm stop, and it did right when I said stop!”
Oh to have faith like a child. It is crazy for me to think about that story sometimes and remember how I felt in that moment. Scared out of my mind, but confident in my God. As an adult, trust like that hasn’t come as easy. When fear comes upon me, God isn’t always the first one I turn to and it’s taken me a long time to realize that. I do pray about my fears, but I don’t always have an open hand when I am giving them to Him. After realizing this I dug deep into my heart as to why I don’t always fully trust God with my fear and two main reasons have stood out.
Lie 1: I believe the lie that God doesn’t care or is too busy for me.
Of all the things in the world that He must be paying attention to, why would he care about my fear? Surely there are more pressing matters, especially when many times my fear ends up being irrational. So I shrug it off and think it’s not important enough to bother Him with. But Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 5:7 to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.
As a parent, I have seen my young son fall down many times and the first thing he does (after getting up, of course) is run to me. While I don’t relish in the fact that my child is hurting, it makes my heart swell knowing that He comes to me for comfort. There is a reason God is referred to as “Father”, He loves us and wants us to come to Him with our worries and fears.
Lie 2: God can’t handle it.
It’s hard to see that written, but it happens to me often. I get wrapped up in the “what ifs” and details. My mind spins, and I can’t find a solution to change something or make it go away. It paralyzes me and coaxes me to think that God surely can’t do anything. But that is not what is shown all throughout the Bible. David, for example, did not question whether God was mighty enough to help him defeat Goliath. Saul was trying to keep him from fighting the giant since he was just a boy and David replied, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” 1 Samuel 17:37
Whatever our fear is, our God is bigger. I’m still not great at handing Him my fears, I am stubborn and tend to want to control the outcome. But as I spend more time with the Lord reflecting on scripture and all He has done in my life, I remember that He is the one in control. As David says in Psalm 27:1, “The LORD is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?” We may not be able to control the frightening storms that disturb the peace of our lives, but we can trust in a mighty God who loves us.