I stared at the glowing screen, eyes glazed over, darting from one item to the next. I compared products and added to the ever growing “wishlist.” Babies don’t need much, but we are foster parents and instead of 9 months of preparation, we have weeks to prepare. Car seats. Consumer reports. Carriers. Will it arrive…
Author: hollyraehawes
Deep Renewal
I sat at work in the local homeless shelter, and heard a measure of disbelief present in the voices of two women recounting their experience as “new” members of a Sunday school class at a local church. I was nervous, but felt so welcome. They bought us lunch. They all seem to have it together,…
Christmas Moments Amongst the Mundane
Last year, when Christmas tunes began to ring out from the radio, our mostly quiet family of three became a raucous party of seven. My husband and I have one teenage daughter and, while we weren’t on the list for emergency foster care, four siblings (ranging in ages from 7-15) were delivered to our home…
When the Adoption Fell Through
The night before it all fell through my husband had a dream that skated on the edge between sleep and wakefulness. The kind where you think your dream-life actually happened, only to wake and find it never existed at all. He was holding her, a girl we planned to name Harper, sleeping on his chest….
The Cry of Awareness
As I drove down the interstate a crying woman sped past me in the left lane, and a man talking animatedly on his blue-tooth zoomed by in the right. Wheeled bubbles of steel and glass rolled by the drama that clearly showed something was broken. Real people, with real lives, whizzing down the highway heading…
Running From Love
“Worst case, if she runs, just call the police.” Did I hear that right? I had taken this phone call in the safety of my living room, and I was glad. For the cell connection hid the shock painted upon my face. Those words gave me a quick and hard reality check, and I was…
Dreams Remodeled
About five years ago, after paperwork, paint samples, and hurried home inspections a nearly 90 year old, less-than-900 square foot cottage received its new resident dreamers. Few people had visited the old charmer, despite it’s “character”, because time had taken it’s toll. Toll that would require a whole lot of work. Goldenrod Formica, that oh…
Faithful Choices
I met my husband at the city center bus depot. We stood downtown amongst a handful of other college-aged students ready to work and share hope with homeless teenagers. Over the following weeks, in the midst of exhaust fumes and ministry, something began to blossom and we began dating a few months later. I remember…
Seeds of Joy
Earlier this year when the leaves first began to turn, my family moved for the 4th(and hopefully last) time in 2 years. As this summer approaches I am seeing life I did not work for spring up. I’ve been exploring the bounty someone else planned, invested in, and hoped for in my small corner of…
Hope for Mom
The crowd was a-buzz. Well-wishers, families settling into their seats, and most better dressed than a normal week. I knew the moment was coming. The opening song rang through the sanctuary, and I felt a dread sweep through me. I had experienced it before, each year it had taken on new and different dimensions. It…
Anchored Voices 